This month something horrible happened to me. My best friend (& cat) Rocky was diagnosed with FIP; a viciously fatal feline disease that only infects about 1 in 5000 cats worldwide. Rocky fought hard for us through his last few months on earth, and despite his sickness, he was such a happy, wonderful little man. He never lived to see two, but I always said he had a wise old soul. Rocky brought joy into my heart & soul that will never leave me – he changed me as a person for the better & he still teaches me about life, even from heaven.
After Rocky passed away, we buried him under my favorite hibiscus tree; he would have loved the place we chose for him to finally rest. I pick a fresh flower to lay on his memorial stone every few days, and when they too die, the rabbits come and eat them. I think it’s just beautiful that he has become part of the worlds routine, even the wild animals, in his passing. I’m grateful that his place in our garden is visited and enjoyed by so many birds, lizards, & bunnies; what better way to honor the world he loved than by inviting them in.
Rocky healed me of so many sorrows in his shot lifetime. He comforted me in my darkest days, & he taught me how to love with my whole heart; a pure kind of love, untainted by this world. Without him, I was broken-hearted. I am broken-hearted. I think I always will be; but knowing him was so worth the pain of loosing him. But even as empty as I felt inside, it could not compare to how truly barren my house was without him. I spent three days collecting his things and packing them up together. I gathered the courage to throw his medications away; we put his climbers into the garage. Every trace of my baby boy was hidden because every time I looked at it, I expected him to be there – but he never would be again. It is still a thought I cannot bear.
I remember praying to God a few nights after Rocky passed; I needed to know that he was in heaven, and at peace. I had so much confusion about animals and their place in heaven, and I prayed so hard for a sign from the Lord. I asked for something very specific as confirmation, “Please Lord, send me a rainbow. Show me he is with you in heaven Father, please send me a rainbow…”. I prayed and watched, and prayed and watched, but still, no rainbow. Somewhat discouraged, but still faithful & full of hope, I went to bed & decided to just forget about it.
Later on in the week, my husband, mother-in-law and myself all found ourselves at the very place we stood when we first laid eyes on Rocky – pressed against the front glass window of the Humane Society in the mall. Six little sister kittens were all curled up sleeping. Our broken hearts needed love that only the frisky innocence of a kitten could offer. And in the joy and sadness of the moment, we ended up with two kittens rather than one! Two perfect little girls, so extremely different from each other, yet so perfectly matched to one another, and to us.
Later that evening, laying in bed with my husband and two purring babies, I got up to crack open the window shade just how Rocky used to love. I thought maybe the girls would like his window spot too. The sun was setting, and I was grateful for the peace of the moment. I looked down at the sleeping kitten nestled beside me, and at the kitten cuddled up to Carmine too. But then, something magical happened. When my eyes lifted to Carmine’s face, there was a bright little rainbow stretched across his cheek. In disbelief, I blinked; and when I opened my eyes, there was not one rainbow, but a thousand. Our entire bedroom was covered in little rainbow shards; the walls, the ceiling, us and the kittens – we were being bathed in Gods love and light. I have never seen anything so beautiful as long as I have lived. God sent me Rocky, and Rocky sent me two little girls to live out his legacy. Never have I felt such peace, love, understanding and truth – the setting sun had shone straight through the glass base of our bedside lamp, and projected a thousand dancing rainbows onto my soul. In that moment, I knew my prayers were being answered, and I knew that Rocky was in fact bounding through the green fields of heaven. God is so good. God hears prayer & He answers prayer – He remembers when we forget, and He heals when we hurt.
All pets go to heaven, and if you have a single ounce of doubt, I pray that God sends you rainbows too. I am moving forward in life not with sorrow, but with gratitude & peace. My heart can love again knowing that God has so much love, even for a cat, that He can fill a room with rainbows. What a blessing.