(L80) Admitting When You’re Wrong

What would be the most difficult technique in this book (How to Win Friends and Influence People) so far for you to learn how to do well? Why?

The single most difficult life skill offered in this book for me to master would be the art of avoiding argument. Carnegie puts great stress on the importance of discussing rather than arguing; this is something I have knowingly struggled with my entire life.

My argumentative nature is not due to being easily offended, because quite honestly, I’m not. It is however more likely than not, due to my automatic defensive system. My childhood was traumatizing to say the least. My teenage years were abnormal, distressing, and to be honest, just messed up in every imaginable way. My life, while much better now (by my own, and my husband-to-be’s doing), is still much more complicated than that of any other 17 year old I have ever known or heard of. I got used to being kicked while I was down, and as I got older I learned to kick back.

The downside to picking up verbal and physical self defense was not always knowing the appropriate time to use it. Someone who is used to being attacked tends to anticipate one at all times. It is hard to admit, but even when someone has the best of intentions, I can easily become a guard dog to my own emotions. This is an issue I have corrected time and time again, and I certainly am getting better, however we all have our moments. With everything I have been through, it is hard not to lunge when people make assumptions about me.

Besides avoiding arguments, I must also listen to Carnegie pertaining to his statement “if you’re wrong, admit it”. This is something that most people have a hard time with, and so I have decided to take a step towards correcting it right here in this essay:

I am more argumentative than I would like to be, I do get defensive, and I do get pushy at times. I am not always going to be right, because I am only a human. I make mistakes and that is okay, but the only way that I can learn from them is by accepting, acknowledging and correcting them. I am willing to do what it takes to reduce the amount of fighting in my life, especially if that means admitting when I am wrong.

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5 thoughts on “(L80) Admitting When You’re Wrong

  1. Ugh, you said it. I struggle with not arguing with my parents, but I’m slowly getting though it with the help of them, my brothers, and my church. I guess as you get older (normally occurs in your teenage years, I assume) the more you start to realize that people are thinking about who you are and eventually they just say that in open. And what they say is either plain wrong, or something that is possibly you, but you don’t see yourself that way. Then as a person who’s trying to find out where they belong in the world and who is dealing with hormones (Oh joy!) we lash out and say that that is not us.
    I think we need to gather our family and friends around us and discuss about what we can do to make our selves not lash out at each but to calmly a few days after the accusation say something like, “When you said (input accusation here), it really hurt my feelings and I don’t see myself that way, what made you think that?” Then listen to their explanation and say what we feels necessary to explain to them that we didn’t mean it come out like that, it was a mistake, etc. I think if we do this with several other helpful tips, we teens will learn to stay calm, know it’s not the end of the world, and try to fix things out with the ones we love. Nicely written essay and fantastic job! ~Perrissa 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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